Female Shadow:So close to Hell,so close to Heaven
by Crossoverman
Summary: Shadow's tired of people looking at him like he's some kind of monster,so he wishes himself to be someone everybody loves.But what he gets is ironic.He finds himself a bunny girl and has to deal with it.
1. A Sad Emo's Wish

**Chapter 1 A Sad Emo's Wish**

It was a regular day for Shadow The Hedgehog.People were giving the look he hates,they looked at him like he's some kind of monster.He headed to one of his hangouts.All that were there were emos."Hey look it's Shadow." "All hail the Emo King." "Thank you my children," Shadow said."So Shadow,you have any poetry you'd like to share?" "Darkness,eternal flame from which I draw my strength.Your kiss is thine and sweet," Shadow recited.His emo subjects loved his new poem and applauded."So Shadow,when will we make our move and have emos rule?" "What?" he asked.He remembered he came there drunk one night and ranted to them about taking over,about an age where emos rule."Some other night,I'm not feeling up to it right now," he said."Very well,we can wait."

Shadow continued to walk around when he met up with James Earl Jones."James Earl Jones?" "Shadow?" "Hey," Shadow said."Hey Shadow how's it been?" James asked."Not so good.A lot of people gave the look,they looked at me like I was some kind of monster," Shadow said."Well I'm blind so I can't give you that look,but even if I did have my sight I wouldn't see you as some kind of monster," James said."Thanks," Shadow said."Well,would you look at that,in a few days the planets will be aligned.What a magical event it is.They say if you're in the ray that emits from the event you're wish will come true.It only happens every thousand years," James said."I thought you couldn't see," Shadow said."True,but I can feel it happening.Well,be seeing ya," James said and left."Hm,I only have to wait a few days then I can wish to be somebody that everybody loves," Shadow thought.

The next day Shadow found an Eggman robot and took it out no problem with his Chaos Lance.Some more showed up but Shadow won't have any problem."It doesn't matter how many of them show up,it won't heal this emptiness I feel," he thought.The robots shot bullets at him but he just skated to avoid them."Chaos Lance!" He shot all of them with his power.

The day after that Shadow went to see Stardust and enjoyed it.He like a lot of people thought Sean Connery was in it but it turned out he wasn't.Next he went to a mountainous region to gather his thoughts.

The day when the planets align is now,but they won't align till nightfall,so Shadow will have to find something to keep him busy(though he doesn't know when they'll align yet).He went to an abandoned place somewhere in Texas and decided to look around.The mine had nothing particularly of interest.He came to a sector in the mine where there were no carts.He found a rare alloy in the sector,amalgam.He found no use for it so he left.

Shadow met up with James Earl Jones again."Hey James," he said."Hey Shadow,the planets will be aligned tonight and I just know it's going to be magical," James said."See ya." "See ya." Once again a lot of people Shadow passed by were looking at him like he was some kind of monster.

It was nighttime and Shadow was at a forest near a mountainous region.The planets were near their alignment."I wish I was somebody everybody loves,that way people wouldn't look at me like I'm some kind of monster," Shadow thought.The planets aligned perfectly and a lime green ray shot from Mercury to Venus to Mars to Earth and Shadow was in it.The ray also hit the reat of the planets(and Pluto).It felt like the whole planet was spinning around Shadow.He legs grew longer and they started turning human-like.It stopped at his crotch where the fur there turned into the middle part of black pants.His pants elongated.His shoes grew to a mens 10 1/2.His arms got all human-like and his chest fur turned into a black shirt.His quills turned into spiky hair and his face is now human-like.However something felt wrong."What?" His feet turned into a womans size 4 and his shoes turned into black high-heels.His pants tore off and in their place he was wearing some sort of one piece swimsuit-like clothing.His shirt tore off and so did his gloves.A bunny-eared hairband appeared on his head.His hair lost it's spikiness and grew long and lipstick appeared on his lips.I will now be referring to Shadow as a she from now on.Shadow was shocked at she had become and passed out.

I know this first chapter isn't very good but trust me it gets better in the next chapter.


	2. Emo Bunny

**Chapter 2 Emo Bunny**

"Hey Emo Bunny wake up we got a show to do." "Emo Bunny?" Shadow woke to find herself a bunny girl."No!This can't be happening!" she thought.She saw that her bunny girl outfit had the tail and with the frustration and anger she was feeling she saw it move."Hey are you just gonna stand let's get out and perform already," a bunny girl said."Okay,one show and then I figure out what's going on and how to reverse it," Shadow thought.So she went and performed with her fellow bunny girls.During the show a man slapped Shadow's ass.This of course pissed her off and she beat the crap out of the guy.The show was halted from there."Thanks a lot." "You suck." "You just had to have some decency." "What was that all about!?You just cost me money which comes out of your paycheck!" the boss yelled.He's a stubby round guy."Look here bub,I may be a bunny girl but I am not gonna let anyone disrespect me.In fact I'm going to quit right now," Shadow snapped and started to walk away."If you walk out then I'll tell all those husbands wives of the affairs you've had with," the boss said.Shadow turned around said "You can't be serious?" "I'm serious after all who could forget the time that was so erotic 'Aaaaah'," the boss said."Okay,I won't quit," Shadow said."That's a good girl.Now worktime's over you can all go home," the boss said."Exactly where do I live?I have headache," Shadow said.The boss told her where she lives.She found herself in an England-like town.

Shadow went into her apartment and took her anger out on the walls."Dammit!OW!Even my strength's the same as a lady's.Out of what I could of become from that wish why'd it have to be a bunny girl?I thought that the wish would of made me a comedian or something like that," she said to herself.She looked around for her diary."OK,there's got to be a diary that belongs to me somewhere.Now where would I hide something like that," she thought.She looked in her make-up drawer and it was there._She is Dianne Locklear 20 years of age.She flunked high school but had a body perfect for a bunny girl so she took the job.The affairs she had were just a way to deal with some stress.She didn't have any children thanks to condoms.I will now refer to Shadow as Dianne from now on._Dianne couldn't believe the living hell she was in."I can't believe this living hell I'm in.I've got to reverse this.The library should have something on the subject," she thought.Luckily the library was in view from her apartment.She looked in her closet for some casual clothes but most of it were dresses."Shit,don't I have any casual clothes in this reality," she said.She managed to find a few pairs of casual clothes and wore one.

"Metro Maywin Library," Dianne read.She entered in and looked around."Hey,aren't you one of those bunny girls?" the librarian asked.He's a 70 year old man."Yeah,are you the owner of this library?" Dianne asked."Yes,and I'm glad to see there's at least one of you that doesn't mind using their brain.My name's Mort by the way what's yours?" Mort asked."I'm Dianne," she said."Well it's good to meet you Dianne what are you looking for anyway?" Mort asked."Well,I need to know anything on things that can grant wishes," Dianne said."Well,the planets won't be aligning for another 1000 years,but the constellations will all be alit sometime next week and trust me,if you have a wish it will be granted.Problem is they'll only be lit for three minutes" Mort told her."Well,thank you," Dianne said."Your welcome come by anytime," Mort said.Dianne left and went back to her apartment.

"Okay,some I'm going to have to take another week of this disrespect,then I can wish to be back to normal and forget this ever happened," Dianne said.The next day was pretty normal.Dianne got up,ate breakfast,brushed her teeth,and went to work that is,if you call being a bunny girl and doing shows work.

Will Dianne just simply wade out the week?We'll find out in the next chapter.


	3. Junichi,Dianne's Savior

**Chapter 3 Junichi, Dianne's Savior?**

For a few days Dianne was taking all the disrespect she could.When she got home she moped about her predicament."Ooooh,I don't know how much more of this I can take.Listen to yourself mope,you sound exactly like a woman," she told herself."What to do what to do?Should I really go on with this or should I leave town?Nah,it's really not worth having a lot of pissed off wives trying to kill me," she thought.

The next day while she was performing a man with spiky blue hair wearing blue pants,high tops,and a vest-jacket thing was watching."She doesn't seem to like this.I gotta help her out," he thought.After the show Dianne headed for her apartment when the guy asked her "You don't like working there do you?" "Who are you?" Dianne asked."I'm Junichi 'Sonic' Kanemaoru.Got the nickname from my incredible speed.I flew in from Japan," he said."No I don't like it there,I hate it," Dianne said."Well,I can take you away from here," Junichi said."Not likely,let's just say I did some wrong things and if I quit my boss will expose me," Dianne said."Well,I'll find a damn good lawyer.In the meantime ya wanna go out?" Junichi asked."Sure,just let me change into something else," Dianne answered.She went into her apartment and changed into some casual clothes.

Dianne went on her date with Junichi and had fun.They went out the next few days as well."You know Dianne,I think I may be falling in love with you," Junichi said."Really,but I've had affairs with husbands before," Dianne said."Well,are you truly sorry about those?" Junichi asked."Yes,I just want to get out of this hellhole," Dianne said."I promise,I will get you out of this place," Junichi told her.

The day of the trial arrived,Junichi finally found a damn good lawyer."OK,let's get this trial underway." "Have you checked if any of the husbands that I did things with wives are here?" Dianne asked her lawyer."Yes,I've done a check on every one of them they're not here," he said."Okay,what is the accusation for Hubert Farngy (aka the boss)?" "Your honor,the defendent has been accused of holding Dianne Locklear against her will." "How do you plead?" "Innocent,why I would never hold an employee like a captive." "Liar!You threatened to tell...sick things about me if I left." "Order.Order." "Your honor,defense calls the other bunny girls to the stand." "Now,Heather if you could describe your boss in three words what would they be?" "Fat pervy slop." "Now Lea did you hear anything that sounded like your boss was keeping Dianne captive?" "Well,he did say he was going to tell some people about these affairs she had." By this time the jury had reached a verdict."Has the jury reached a verdict?" "Yes we find the defendant-" "Wait!How about I let you go and I keep my mouth shut if you call this thing off." "It should be obvious by now he's also being sued for everything he's got."Okay,you heard the man," Dianne said.

"That trial was no problem wasn't it?" Junichi said."No,and I can finally start a new life," Dianne said.Junichi leaned over for a kiss and Dianne gave him a passionate one."Junichi,can I tell you something?" she asked."What?" Junichi asked."Well,I'm not really a woman," Dianne said."You don't look like a drag queen," Junichi said."It's just,I used to be a hedgehog,the Emo King,then I made a wish to be somebody everybody loves and this happened," Dianne said."Uh-huh,well,according to my star charts the constellations will all be alit by the night after tomorrow.So if you're serious then you're going to head out aren't you?" Junichi asked.


	4. Hedgehog or Woman?

**Chapter 4 Hedgehog or Woman?**

Dianne had just gone on another date with Junichi.When she got home she thought about her decision to go back to being Shadow."Should I wish myself back to normal I mean,my life's starting to get better hear,and in a way I fulfilled my promise to Maria.I don't if Eggman exists in this reality but if he does he doesn't seem to have any interest in taking over the world,but still being the Emo King was fun,heh," she thought.

Finally,the night of the constellations simultaneous lighting came.Dianne headed for a green field."All right,now I can go back to being a hedgehog.But,do I really want that.I mean I even have somebody to love here who's not dead,no I have to go back," she thought."Hey,so you really were serious," Junichi said."Yeah,I just wish deciding wasn't so damn hard," Dianne said."Well,what's keeping you from staying," Junichi said cuddling her."Well,I don't know,I guess nothing really.Hm,guess this was really pointless," she said.

That conversation took three minutes,and the constellations faded away except for one."Well,it looks like I'm staying like this," Dianne said."And I'm just fine with that," Junichi said.They shared a passionate kiss."Now I have to clear up some loose ends before we leave this place if you don't mind," Dianne said."No problem," Junichi replied.

Dianne went to all the wives of the husbands she had affairs with and told them about it as well as how truly sorry she was,along with that no children came of it.Lucky for her Junichi was there for any wives who'd get violent.The wives told her that they'd try to forgive her but the real problem would be with forgiving their husbands.

Dianne and Junichi were deciding on where to start their new life."So where do you think we should start our new life?" Junichi asked."Well,how about America?" Dianne asked."Eh,that's been done way too many times too list.Why not come over to Japan?My family's there so I can introduce you to them," Junichi said."Would they accept if they found out about the affairs?" Dianne asked."Hey,so long as you're truly sorry about those they'll accept you.MY family is a very accepting one," Junichi said,"That's good," Dianne said.

So they went to Japan to start a new life.Dianne finshed high school and got a well paying job as a regular model.Junichi and her even got married later on.

"Say Junichi you what really pissed me off back when I was a hedgehog?" Dianne asked him."What?" he asked her."It just that some of my fans would quarrel over whether or not I was emo.I mean,I had black fur and blood red streaks in my quills-" "Wow,that is emo." "If I can continue,then some fans would say I was just mourning over Maria's death and it doesn't matter about my fur color," Dianne said."Shit,that could really get on one's nerves," Junich said.

People it's a fact that Shadow is tired of the whole emo-nonemo quarreling so make up your damn minds already and stop this foolish arguing.

Sorry if this fic was kind of a let-down,I really couldn't do much with this.


End file.
